Five Minute Friday- 'write'

I think this is hilarious, of all things that I would NEVER do, it's make an effort to robustly display my thoughts via the web. However, my friend Claygirlsings, encouraged me to take the five minute friday challenge to stop being so worried about what others think of my writing. What do you know, the first prompt is 'WRITE'.

If you are interested in taking this challenge or find out more, go here. (Lisa-Jo Baker's blog)

So, 'write':

5 minutes, go...I think that it's pretty funny that my first prompt is just 'write' seeing as it's the very thing I have a hard time being confident in. I don't even want to link up this post to the actual website... we'll see if i will. In talking, I don't speak in linear thought, it makes it very hard to communicate to friends and family. In fact, as a result, I sometimes have shied away from doing so because I believe it might be too much work for others ;)

However, writing is a bit more different. It gives me a chance to re think, rewrite, and come up with what I want to say. This process takes way longer, and often times, these days, i dont have time for that. Something else stops me, it's the fact that once I hit 'publish' I have put my thoughts and heart out for everyone to see, at least the ones who stop by on this page. And, THAT, is what I am afraid of. Being known through my words, written. Because, when I do actually take the time to write, it's what i have thought through, and put out.. no excuses on grammar or punctuation-it's my thoughts. What if someone reads it and thinks I'm stupid, naive, ignorant, arrogant, rude, etc...

OK, 5 minutes somehow turned into 7. and that's what I had time to put out there. Wow, that was exhilarating- I do this because I know that I shouldn't fear anything, but God! I need to get over whatever it is that keeps me from living real w/ people.

Next time, i hope to write more and hopefully, in my honesty, you are encouraged to take on this challenge. I'm sure you will do fabulous. don't forget to link up your blog to the host, Lisa-jo Baker's blog!

Thanks, Claygirlsings for the challenge! Now back to laundry... :)

Discipline

Why am i writing? that's a great question you ask. It's been over a year ( the most hectic one, and yet the most beautiful) and I haven't written any of my thoughts or experiences.  I had my little girl on Valentines Day of 2013... since then my life has been 100% different, my marriage, my faith... everything.

I am writing because I have a gnawing feeling that it's one thing of many things that will help me become more of the person God is calling me to be. Discipline. I am learning in this new chapter of life that discipline is very important for me, but for the stewardship of my family as well. Soon enough here, i will actually be doing some REAL disciplining of my little one, and I want to say that it comes from a heart that is daily excepting the discipline that comes from above. I also want to be a person who disciplines myself in my body, mind and heart. Some ways I am experiencing discipline- before Christmas started up working out my body and not over-indulging. There is also a rekindled desire and prayer for reading the Word daily.  and, I have taken to writing as a way to meditate on what God is teaching me.

the following passage is on my mind

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Do Not Grow Weary

3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. 4 In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,

nor be weary when reproved by him.

6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,

and chastises every son whom he receives.” (Hebrews 12:1-6, ESV)

So, I guess in short, I am writing because I want to have the world see I mean business. I want discipline to more apart of my life. I want God's hand to touch every aspect of what I'm doing, for His glory, so that others can see Him through my life. I hope this starts with responding to His discipline in my life.

Let me know ways that I can do this better, that you have found help you!

thanks friend

trading one for another

I'm exploring the physical benefits from going on a mostly vegan diet throughout the week. I say 'mostly' because, i still eat cheese or a cookie etc, a couple times a week. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes just because I'm ignorant of what foods have non vegan items in it.

The reason Jeremy and I started to do this diet is because we watched a documentary 'Fork over Knife' that tells of the benefits of changing your diet to wholefoods and plant-based consumption. One phrase they said over and over again, was 'eat to live, not live to eat'. I realize this concept is not ground breaking, but through starting the diet and remembering that phrase when I want* to eat a plate of cheesyness, I see that the main reasons I choose to eat unhealthy (and therefore unbalanced overall) is because I am pleasure-seeking. Let me reiterate. I eat not just to feed my needs, but I eat to seek pleasure.

I have seen how the idea of pleasure-seeking and idolatry are often tied together. While on this diet, I have tried to eat healthy and make fun shakes. But, I still can enjoy red wine (which i LOVE!). So, now red wine has become an even greater desire to consume than before. It's funny, because the challenging thought is not, 'how long can you withhold meat and cheese, and processed foods?', the question that i struggle with is, 'What do i want more than God to fulfill me?'.

for the past week, i have heard all sorts of conversations about one vice being better than another. Someone at work says, 'why don't chocoholics get grief like the people with gambling problems', or, i was watching all these young people at the T/F film fest inhale cigarettes, knowing full well they are blatantly bad for you, even though these are some of the most creative and brightest thinkers and probably vegan (haha). They live a life devoted to evolving their minds, and yet hinder their bodies! I think this leads me to believe that many people, they are ok with one vice over another. they can replace one habit, with another bad habit that is just as harmful, but less shameful/taboo in their own eyes.

Since when was being a lush or a glut something to be proud of? But, for some reason, we are less likely to hold each other accountable in this sin than if someone was sleeping around, being unfaithful? And, more importantly, hold ourselves accountable for those thoughts and actions.  My friend Matt, an art professor and philosophical thinker ;) , was telling me about how the entire concept of John Piper's book 'Pleasures of God' was that we were made for pleasure. But, you know, we often replace our deep rooted desires for lesser things. All desires and pleasure can be met in God. I'm not voting for asceticism. False religion, right ?(col 2:23) I think God gave us amazing things like chocolate and red wine , and sex and beautiful art. But, these are mediums for us to experience God in, and thank Him for...

so, what am I saying here? before I pick up a glass of red wine, or flip on the tube to escape stress, I would like to face reality, head on. The fact is, I do need comfort, peace, and sanity. However, how i get those must be focused on a lasting and restorative fulfillment in God.

my philosophy is this; a drowning person, striving to reach the surface, will be content with smoke-filled air. They may not realize they are slowly killing themselves through suffocation. But, if you give them fresh air, they can fully recover.

where do you want to be?

it's very easy to get carried away with your free time and think of all the possibilities of what fun things you could be doing. Most of the time, i long for the weekend, enjoying the sun, getting away to the cabin, the possibility of moving to an exotic land and living there for years. "life would be so much easier or exciting if..." it's easy to get discontent while sitting at your desk for hours during the day. And, it can be downright hard, especially with that mentality.

I'm starting to see how this is a reflection of my maturity. instead of running from the things that are less pleasant, it is good for me to grow within those circumstances. it's good for me to thrive in the place that i have been rooted. I believe this relates to my relationships, my community involvement, my work ethic, and therefore, my growth as a person. i shouldn't try to escape from the things that don't make me buzz with anticipation. instead, i would like to learn to become content wherever i'm at.

while focusing on what is not 'ideal' or exciting in your life, you can get into a rut and not move, or wish you were somewhere else. that's escapism. you are in a constant wait for things to be made better...i am realizing increasingly it's more important for me to thrive wherever i am at, instead of wishing i was somewhere else. I believe God gives direction and purpose for the times that He puts us in. It's not like He wants us to be discontent. Part of growing up is accepting the difficult stuff and growing through it. I believe it's this very discipline that will make me more ready for whatever God does throw at me in the future. And it won't come sooner by me wishing it.  I love Shelly Moore's lyrics about Exodus, about God being the provider of all the Hebrews needs. She sings:

I am here
wipe away  your tears
I am here
I will provide, i will provide
I am your bread of life 
I will provide, 
I am here
Bread of Heaven for your child
I find that there's enough to meet my needs
But to gather it up isn't easy

The people of the Exodus were freed from bondage to pharoah in egypt. what could be better than freedom, right? however, as soon as they were in the desert, they became increasingly discontent with God's provision and even where He was taking them (aka, falling food from the sky, a rock that gushed water when they got thirsty, a sea splitting down the middle, pillar of fire from the sky, etc) and actually said they were wanting to go back to Egypt. WHAT?! I think that while it was not ideal to be in the desert, it was what God had led them into because it was the interim to getting to the promised land. It is significant to me that time 'in the wilderness' seemed pointless. But, it was meant to bring something greater. It was because they were so distrusting and unfaithful that God let them wander for 40 years until that generation of Hebrews died off.

We can live a significant portion of our lives the same way, being discontent and therefore missing out on the bigger and better picture. Instead, we could be in relationship with Him and others, and we can do that where ever we are. We could do the best work we can, wherever we are, and it's not a waste, it's not useless. It probably won't be easy, and it may lack luster at times, but it will produce character and help prepare for where ever God has next. And, i failed to mention:  its not even about me! it's about reaching out for others to see Jesus and for me to know Him. If this is the case, how could I be satisfied with trying to escape? There is already work cut out for me, where I am at.

may the passage below inspire you.

colossians 3:23-24
'whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ."

the problem is that we don't make resolutions enough...

Going into the new year, you have a lot of people wanting to greet you with the question, 'have any new year's resolutions?'. My typical response is 'no' because i do not appreciate the idea that one moment of the year will make me anymore resolute* to making changes in my life. I can't find the specific study, ( i just found a bad article that doesn't even reference) but the "statistics" show that of the 70% of Americans that make a resolution to lose weight, only 6% succeed. I think this tells more about certain personalities than it does that making resolutions are bad.  ... it's no secret that the beginning of the year, gyms are filled with people only to slowly empty after about 3 months. I believe this leads to the cynical attitude of even trying to make resolutions for the new year. Hence my thoughts today. 

One of Merriam Webster's many definitions of the word, resolution is something that is resolved <made a resolution to mend my ways>. I believe society as a whole sees there are huge problems with their life, and at the end of a busy year, what better way to say 'good riddance' than to make a means for making their lives better, through a resolution. We see our need for things to be made right or to be better. And after so many attempts of trying to make it right on our own, it is almost demanded that we become cynical and hardened so our failures to make it right, don't kill us( at least to our psyches). It's this very hardening of our hearts and becoming cynical that is our problem. We don't need to stop making resolutions-things ARE WRONG- we need to take the opportunity to ask for help. Since people are fallible to make their resolutions happen, they should ask for help from God. 

This points directly to our need for a Savior. So now, our resolutions become repentance, right?  Because, if our way is failing in making things right, then when we ask for help from the One who can change it, we should then find ourselves saying 'You are right, im wrong... please help me'. 

We need to resolute to ask for help. And, you know, that IS repentance. it's turning away from yourself, because let's just face it, you have made a wreck of yourself this year. And guess what? you will continue to do so in many ways in this new one... so, instead of becoming cynical and getting worse EVERY year for the rest of your life, hiding from YOURSELF the fact that things are wrong...start making more resolutions; it reminds you that you DO need help and things are NOT right... and then repent and ask for help. 

does this ring true for you?

much love in the new year,

leanna

re-purposed fabric, appliques, and purpose

I have found what I want to focus on most! In addition to the promotion of women Fair Trade items and justice, I would like the theme of my items to be re-purposed fabric! I have spent so many years in the past idolizing over the latest fashions that are exorbitantly priced. I now want to put an emphasis on creation that shows personality, using fabric that we already have. It may not always be possible, but I love the idea and want to pursue it.
I also love appliques too. I think it adds a focus to the item, something cute and unique. I am really into color coordination, and trying interesting mixes of patterns. I try to make appliques with these thoughts in mind.

Well, here goes; Spring is on its way!