Strange how 7 years ago, Jeremy and I met for the first time, and now we have a family. The past year has grown us so much closer, although at first we would have said it was like being newly-wed all over again-the hard part of being a newly-wed, that is. In a way, I have seen through being a mommy, just another depth of how much I need a Savior, and that I can't be 'good' at this on my own. Honestly, i felt like screaming a lot the first 9 months since E was born... screaming at Jeremy, at E, at God.
Somehow, I didn't though. I broke a little, but in a good way. I saw that I wasn't in control of E, her sleep, her eating, her health! soo many things!! When things didn't go my way, i would become angry or depressed.
However, I'm learning in this new season: God is in control- i HAVE to trust Him that He's got what is best for my family and me. Trust that He has written the days for me and my family. Trust that He knows how frail my nerves are after a sleepless night. Trust that He loves E soooo much more than I could ever imagine or I would know how to! AND IN THAT, He's given me strength to be His loving hands for whatever is needed. of course this is all in a nutshell because I am daily learning all this more.
In letting go, I have gained peace, and it's reflected in my marriage. Jeremy and I get along so much more now- romance still exists after baby yal!- and we are so excited where God is taking our family on mission...I'm so thankful that God's got this :) Am I perfect at this? heck no. EVERYDAY, i have to pray for humility to love and serve my family well. BUT here's a sure thing:
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6, ESV)
a good work! something GOOD is going on here, not bad, and it's not from me, but God. So, I am so excited and confident that in letting go, I'm letting God do something awesome in me and through me, and I know that will show love to my family. ...
OK that's it for today, i just wanted to share these cute pictures from E's party, and her big girl hair. We had 2 of her best girl friends over! and Grandma was there too :)